To Have And To Hold
by CrzA
Summary: Letter after letter, Izuku goes on a journey through Shouto's deepest feelings, a loving gesture that sends him to loved one after loved one until he meets the one he loves most once again.


**NOTE: Thank you at history-rover on tumblr for contributing to the development and beta of this fic, without you this probably wouldn't exist, and to everyone else who helped with corrections on the original file! Please enjoy :D**

It's with a tiny shiver that Izuku slowly wakes from his deep slumber that morning. The bed covers have slipped off somewhere by his feet, exposing his bare skin to the crisp air of the bedroom. His eyes flutter open, squinting as he adjusts to the light streaking through the curtains and he reaches to his right instinctively, feeling the bed until he realises with a pang of disappointment that the spot next to him is empty. The warmth that usually awaits him is nowhere to be found, leaving only cold sheets over a fluffy mattress that don't seem nearly as inviting as when Shouto is splayed over them, sleeping soundly. Izuku's days off always seem so bleak when he isn't there to share them with him.

But when he looks at the pillow where his head usually rests, Izuku sees a pearly white envelope laid neatly over it, and a small sleepy smile tugs at the ends of his mouth as he reaches for it, Shouto immediately filling his thoughts all over again. Rubbing at bleary eyes, he reads over the perfect handwriting at the top of it. The words alone are enough to bring a little heat to his cheeks, _'My love'_ resonating within him with the deep timbre of Shouto's voice. Even after five years of hearing it said over and over again, it still raises an army of butterflies from the pits of his stomach, accelerates his heartbeat to worrying rates and makes his breaths short.

Little things like this were anything but rare. Even though at first Izuku hadn't pegged him as such, Shouto was very much the romantic type. One would think it would be the other way around, but Izuku could be a little scatter-brained on the best of days, important dates slipping from his mind completely. Major events often come and go without him being the wiser if it weren't for Shouto. Just last week, their anniversary had rolled around and Izuku had only remembered with a choked off gasp and a blush when he was being seated at a nice restaurant with a wonderfully delicious meal in front of him and a knowing little smile gracing his partner's lips.

The tips of his calloused fingers brush over the delicate paper, feeling the tiny bumps Shouto's pen had left behind with his words imprinted on its valleys. Flipping the envelope's small flap up, Izuku digs the message out, a thin sheet of paper with more of Shouto's beautiful script.

 _'_ _Good morning, gorgeous. Did you sleep well? Your face always looks so peaceful when you're lying next to me that I can't help but stare. I would do it forever if I could, and it pains me so to have to leave you on days like these, when your warmth just threatens to swallow me whole. But now that I must, I hope to at least leave a lingering thought that will keep me with you, always._

 _Take care, my love. Please don't forget to eat.'_

Izuku's chest warms as he reads over the words, imagining Shouto's loving expression as he wrote them down, the care he put into each and every single one, even the worry that's clearly evident on the last part. It isn't uncommon for him to simply get so focused on a task that time just slips away from him, meals and other basic needs going ignored in favour of whatever he's busying himself with. The amount of times Shouto has quite literally dropped food in front of him with an unvoiced demand is probably tattooed into his mind so permanently that he can't help but remember with every little chance he gets that he's human too.

Not wanting to start off the day by disrespecting Shouto's wishes, Izuku calmly drops his legs over the side of the bed with a lazy stretch of his arms. His following sigh fills the harsh silence around him for only the few seconds it lasts, only for the smothering quiet to return as if it hadn't been disturbed at all. It's strange how a place so lived in, shared and covered in memories in every little corner, can feel so utterly empty when he is the only one there.

Bare feet dragging across the carpeted floors, Izuku makes his way out of the bedroom only to stop right by the entrance, head tilting slightly in peaked curiosity when he spies a tray on the kitchen table. A fully prepared breakfast is there waiting for him, complete with everything he needs to make himself some warm tea to go with it, and Izuku can't help but smile as wide as his lips will let him. He approaches the glass counter, his hand reaching for the flower that lays right in the middle, a big and beautiful lotus, bloomed with the pink bleeding out towards the white tips of the petals at the edges. He strokes them gently, eyes landing on another envelope, just like the first one with the words _'My love'_ scrawled prettily on its surface, leaning against a jar of what looked like freshly squeezed orange juice.

Turning on the kettle to warm up some water for his tea, Izuku takes the letter in his hands and opens it, wondering what Shouto may have been thinking when he did all this. He had to leave for the hero agency relatively early this morning, so that must mean that he'd had to have waken up at the crack of dawn to do all of this for him. Momentarily, Izuku thinks of scolding Shouto for disregarding his own wellbeing when he is clearly fussing over him on his day off. Yet all of that melts into nothingness when he starts reading, fondness invading his every thought and feeling.

 _'_ _It's good that you managed to get yourself out of bed. Sometimes you get lazy on your days off, such is the level of your exhaustion. Being number one hero is no excuse to waste your free time away with no concern for what is to come, though. I thought a full meal would give you enough energy to maybe consider not staying holed up all day._

 _I wish I was with you. Every waking moment without you by my side feels like an eternity until I can see you again._

 _Can you believe how far we've come ever since I declared war on you? It feels like so long ago, yet I still remember that day like it was yesterday; my own blindness haunts me constantly._

 _If only you could go back there to tell me what was waiting for me down the road.'_

Izuku brings his index to his lips to nibble on the knuckle, keeping his mouth from stretching into a goofy grin that threatens to tear right through him. Absentmindedly, he looks over at the calendar hanging on the wall right next to their fridge to see if there's anything he's forgetting. But the only date circled is a week past, just as he suspected. But Shouto never really needed a 'special date' to do something to show his love. He was full of little gestures and caring gifts such as these, and Izuku was more than willing to accept them, if only a little guilty of not doing nearly enough in return.

 _If only you could go back there…_ The words dance in Izuku's thoughts as he hugs the note to his chest, a little tingle slowly but surely settling right underneath his skin. Anticipation, excitement, wonder, curiosity…

He can't simply sit still any longer, eating on his feet while pacing back and forth until finally, he's unable to hold it anymore, the sound of bare feet slapping against worn carpet filling the apartment as he runs towards the bathroom to get ready. It's not long before he's grabbing his keys, a hat covering his curls and sunglasses hiding his eyes, and the two letters safely tucked in his jacket pocket.

All throughout the train ride, Izuku taps his foot in a mix of impatience and unquenchable enthusiasm. For a few fleeting moments, he actually considers just leaving on the next stop and using his quirk to get there faster. It's not like he can't do it, but somehow, this slow build of expectation makes everything so much more interesting and enticing. When he finally reaches his stop, he's left the train before anyone can even notice it's him flying past the station.

The familiar buildings of Yuuei come into view and Izuku's heart jumps in both nostalgia and trepidation. It is a school day, but the early morning classes haven't come to a finish yet, so the grounds are mostly empty when he makes it past the gates undisturbed. If only because he suspects that Principal Nedzu might have rigged the system to give him special access, given his repeated trips to see Recovery Girl during his early days as a hero.

He makes a beeline for the stadium, running across campus with a determination that is instilled in his bones, the adrenaline coursing through his making his heart beat faster and his stomach flip pleasantly. Memories flash before his eyes with every turn he takes. _Here's where we used to eat lunch alone when we decided we didn't want the commotion of the lunch rush to disturb us. There's where we used to spar together in our free time as an excuse to be closer, to touch each other more. Over there is where we would run every morning together, take in the fresh air and work the sleep right out of our bodies._

Izuku comes to a stop when he sees a flash of black and yellow by the entrance to the tunnel that leads to the inside of the stadium, where Shouto had first approached him with tales of his tortured past and intentions for the future. It was where he had first really seen the pain behind those cold eyes. It was the moment that had propelled Izuku to try and break those icy walls around Shouto's frozen heart. And there, sitting wrapped in a cocoon of warmth with a head of black wild hair, was their former teacher, his yellow sleeping bag having long since been replaced with their class' parting gift for him; a brand new one signed by every single one of them, with solar powered heating pads to boot, courtesy of Yaoyorozu Momo.

"Aizawa-sensei!"

Taking off his sunglasses, Izuku calls, voice the tiniest bit breathless from running all the way from the train station and barely stopping for a second.

The man's eyes crack open, taking in his likely ragged state, before closing again.

"What brings you here, Midoriya?"

The drawl of his voice is just as uninterested as he remembers, low and deep, a soft monotone that sounds every bit as exhausted as he usually looks.

With a hand scratching at the back of his neck and a sheepish smile dancing on his lips, Izuku says, "I could ask you the same thing in return".

After all, as much as his old teacher was known for sleeping anywhere, it seemed a little strange for him to come all the way out here to the entrance of the stadium for a midmorning nap.

An easy-going smirk spreads across his face, the corners of his lidded eyes crinkling slightly with amusement.

"I would think the number one hero would have much better things to do on his days off than come to his old high school to reminisce."

Pausing for a moment, Izuku thinks of what exactly he should answer with. After all, he is a bit at a loss as to what is going on, just knowing that Shouto had done this for him out of love, but not particularly privy to the reasoning behind it.

"Well, you see, Shouto-"

Izuku is interrupted by Aizawa's eyes shooting open, the full force of his gaze on him, hair floating around his head as his quirk activated. He wasn't exactly using One for All then, but the intimidation factor of that look was in no way nullified by the fact that it wasn't really doing anything.

Aizawa's expression settles right after, with Izuku effectively silenced, and he unzips his cocoon from the inside. The first thing that Izuku notices is a violet peeking from behind the man's weapon around his neck as he climbs out of his sleeping bag. Pulling something out of his back pocket, Aizawa takes the small flower from its resting place as well, handing it to him with another letter.

"I wasn't sure if or when you'd actually show up, so I thought I'd come prepared."

He shrugs, and Izuku wraps his hands around the gifts, bowing his head in thanks.

"How many of t-"

He's once again stopped by a single gesture, cut off as the other starts answering without him even asking.

"I don't know anything. I just did what I was asked to do. Have a good day, Midoriya."

And with that, Aizawa turns towards the main building and starts on his way there, saluting him before looking over his shoulder for a second.

"And keep it up, kid. You're becoming someone I'm truly proud of."

Feeling his throat close up and his eyes prickling all of a sudden, Izuku can only nod, hoping the gratitude for that statement shows on his face enough that words aren't needed. The smirk he'd grown used to seeing on Aizawa's face every once in a while flashed before his eyes, and then he was disappearing from view.

Izuku wipes at his watering eyes with the back of his sleeve, sniffling quietly before turning the flower in between his fingers, feeling the silky-smooth touch of their purple-white petals with his other hand. With a deep breath, he opens the third letter to see what awaits him inside.

 _'_ _You made it here. I wonder if you saw it too as you walked through these grounds again, those little places we used to call our own in our time spent here. And now that you're standing right outside of where it all started, I wonder if you see me standing there too._

 _I told you things then that I had never told anyone before, and to this day I still don't really know why. You drew that honesty out of me without either of us even realising it, and I shared with you my deepest and darkest secrets. Even though I don't know why, I will never regret it because it drew those words out of you that I will never forget._

 _It led us to here. This is where it all began, isn't it?_

 _I suppose that honesty was only practice for the day when I would have to tell you how I truly felt. Do you still remember?'_

His heart is trying to beat right out of his chest, fast and hard, almost knocking the breath out of his lungs as he lifts his head up and looks around the campus. Everything is mostly the same as he remembers, with maybe a few additions here and there through the years, but since their first year, the dorms have remained as they were.

That was where they'd confessed to each other. Well, rather, Izuku had told him that he wanted to be more than friends in a fit of nerves and stutters, while Shouto had just listened and said he felt the same with a tiny smile and a light blush he doesn't think he'll ever forget until the day he dies. In terms of confessions, his hadn't been very graceful, and Shouto's could hardly be called one, seeing as it was more of an agreement than anything else.

Carefully, Izuku puts this new letter away with the others looking at the small, fragile flower rolling between his fingers. After a moment's thought, he tucks it safely behind his ear. Amidst the mess of forest green curls, it feels right at home. He makes his way towards the dorms, keeping his pace, trying not to draw so much attention now that the bell was due to ring any moment and students would likely start trickling out.

Those years they had spent walking through these paths come rushing right back to him and Izuku sniffs, tears welling up in his eyes once again. Maybe it is the fact that those letters Shouto wrote him are hitting all of the right buttons, but there's something about Yuuei that just has a special place in his heart too. This school built him up into the hero he was today, the people in it, teachers, classmates, under and upperclassmen. Everything that surrounds him right now, is the air he breathed, the scenery he basked in, the experiences he lived through. Good and bad and everything in between it was all a part of him now, of his memories.

Bright blonde hair frizzed beyond hope comes to his attention when he finally starts to reach _Heights Alliance_ and Izuku can't help but grin. He leaps the remaining distance between them, hoping to catch him by surprise but is instead swept up in a pair of emaciated but still strong arms.

"Midoriya, my boy!"

"All Might!" Izuku laughs heartily along with the taller man that came before him.

He is still a teacher at Yuuei, having decided to stay even after his retirement. Past his prime or not, All Might still is and always will be an inspiration, and Izuku still admires him as an idol as much as he does as a mentor. Some things just never really change, but he doesn't really mind it that much.

When he's set back down with a grunt, his predecessor rubs the back of his neck with another belly laugh that almost seems to shake the ground beneath their feet.

"Either you keep getting heavier or I keep getting weaker, my boy."

"Shouto keeps me well fed?"

Izuku smirks, offering a bashful expression of his own. He's pretty sure he hasn't put on any weight recently, and might have even lost a few pounds from his forgetfulness when it comes to meals, but there was no harm in entertaining his mentor. He glances at the breast pocket on his blazer, seeing a light blue forget-me-not resting inside it. His heart skips several beats at the sight.

All Might hums contentedly, and Izuku's eyes follow as he drops the hand back to his side, reaching into his pocket where he now spies the corner of another white envelope peeking out. He gingerly takes it out, holding it between his index and middle finger, beaming with a bright and wide smile that reaches all the way to his sunken eyes.

"I understand you've been sent on a quest!"

Izuku nods with a little affirmative noise, the fluttering in his chest intensifying when All Might inches the envelope closer. As soon as he reaches for it, his mentor snatches it back, raising an eyebrow.

"I was asked to aid you in your path-" taking the cerulean flower from his jacket's pocket he attaches it to the letter- "and these both belong to you."

He takes Izuku's hand in both of his, placing the two items on his palm and patting it in a caring gesture.

"Take good care, my boy. I'll leave you to it, then. Hopefully there's treasure at the end of this adventure."

Izuku grins happily, thinking that this hunt is a gift in and of itself. Shouto always goes all out with his gifts, never leaving him disappointed. Not that that is even possible, because in the end, Shouto is all he could ever ask for and he has no real need for anything else. All Might retreats with a wave just as the bell rings, signalling the end of morning classes, so Izuku doesn't waste another second to open the next letter.

 _'_ _Tell me, do you remember how we felt that day? I recall it perfectly, because that was when I swore I would never forget what it felt like to be the one you wanted. And ever since then, even if I had tried to break that promise, you have made it completely impossible. Every single day I am reminded of how you are everything that I could ever really ask for and not necessarily deserve. That was the day I knew that, even if that was not exactly what we said, what I felt for you was true love. I never really believed such a thing existed until you._

 _My love, you are the one who made it real. Without you, there is no such thing as love. You guided me through every single step, and I can never thank you enough for teaching me what it feels like to love._

 _The first time I tasted your lips was the day I knew nothing sweeter would ever caress my tongue. Was I just as sweet?'_

Izuku's vision blurs with the build of tears as he reads through Shouto's breathtakingly beautiful words, the commotion of roaming teens beginning to stir around him. Biting back the overwhelmed sobs that are building at the back of his throat, he quickly starts on his way out of the campus and towards the next location.

With a few deep breaths, Izuku manages to calm himself before he actually starts crying, not daring to look at the message again lest he risk losing all of the little composure he's gathered. He places the letter with all the others, the forget-me-not joining the violet over his right ear.

The relatively short train ride back to his old neighbourhood is spent with him trying to avoid replaying Shouto's words in his head, trying to avoid imagining how they would sound in his soft voice as those mismatched eyes stare right into his own. It's hard not think about them though, especially when they resound so deeply inside his heart, echoing eternally and yearning for him to yell them back for the whole world to hear. It takes all of Izuku's willpower to stop the sobs from shaking his shoulders and the tears from streaming down his cheeks.

The sunglasses help to cover the growing redness of his eyes as he keeps the tears at bay, but nothing can really be done about the little sniffles of his nose. Anyone who might be listening to him would think he was grieving, but it would only take a single glance at his face, however concealed it may be, to see that isn't the case. The wobbly smile that tugs at his lips shines brighter than the sun itself, even with the promise of unshed tears behind it.

When he knocks at his mother's door, he knows that today is her day off without even having asked beforehand. Because Shouto always thinks of everything beforehand when it comes to these kinds of things, he's not at all surprised when she opens the door with a smile that could rival his own in how radiant it is. This time, the flower is held in between her hands, a light pink amaryllis, but the letter is nowhere in sight.

Izuku takes his glasses and hat off and his mother coos at the puffiness of his eyes, pulling him into a hug and brushing stray hairs from his face, careful not to disturb the two flowers resting behind his ear. Taking his hands, she pulls him inside with a loving smile and he realises how much he really missed her. They hadn't seen each other in person for a while.

"Shouto told me you would come by around lunchtime. He also said not to let you leave on an empty stomach because he knows how you get when you're focused."

Izuku chuckles to himself. _Of course he did_.

"So, I'm guessing that means I'll only get my next letter after I've eaten."

He reasons, confirmation following soon after when his mother nods with a sweet smile, leading him to the kitchen where she starts setting the table. He is quick to help, reaching for the bowls that are higher up in the shelves. He may not have gotten much taller through the years, but he still had enough height to easily get what she struggled to grab without a step stool. It seems like his mother has decided to make his favourite for today, and his stomach is eager to make itself known as soon as the delicious smell of katsudon reaches his nostrils.

As they eat over small talk, Izuku finds himself playing with the amaryllis that's laying on the table beside him. Fleetingly, he wonders what the meanings of each of these flowers is, if they are even relevant to what is in each of the letters. It could be that Shouto just picked out ones that looked pretty, but somehow Izuku didn't quite believe that explanation even as his brain suggested it. He makes a mental note not to forget to look them all up when he's not busy looking to collect the rest of Shouto's feelings.

"Izuku…"

He hums, snapping his attention back to his mother's face, who's looking at him with understanding green eyes and a tender smile on her lips. Her hand comes to rest over his, thumb rubbing soft circles onto his palm.

"It's so nice to see you like this…"

He doesn't have to ask her what she means because he knows exactly what he looks like. Star struck, adoring, _in love_. The only answer he can muster in that moment is an affectionate smile in turn, because his heart is swelling with emotion that he's sure will overflow if he dares utter a word.

Once he's finished with his food and helping his mother with the dishes even at her insistence that she can do it herself, she wipes her wet hands on her apron and scuffles towards another room. He takes the pretty pink flower from the table, this one being slightly larger than the last and unable to be carried on his ear. He resolves to simply hold it in his hand, admiring its gentle beauty until his mother comes back with the fateful white envelope with _'My love'_ written on its back.

She hands him the letter, a soft expression gracing her features and Izuku doesn't wait to look into it, all too aware of his mother watching him, watching the little twitches of his lips and flutters of his eyelids.

 _'_ _That moment was one of the sweetest of my entire life. I like to consider myself bold and blunt, brave and unwavering. But in that moment, I don't think I ever felt so vulnerable and shy. It was like everything was new and I knew nothing but you and the soft touch of your skin. I felt completely untethered and ready to fall into the abyss, and I was scared, embarrassed. But you were there for me. You were there to hold me. Even though you were likely just as shy and afraid, you were there to keep me from crashing and burning._

 _That feeling of letting go, I couldn't have shared it with anyone else. Because there is no one else I trust more than you. For you I would do anything and everything. I would give up on everything and anything. But it could only be you because you would never ask that of me._

 _Instead of giving up, with you, I get to share. My past is yours. My present is yours. My future is yours. You gave me the strength to share that love you taught me with those who needed me the most.'_

Izuku is covering his mouth with the back of his arm to muffle the harsh sobs that tear through him unwarranted. The hot tracks that burn down his cheeks are brushed away by his mother's hands when she moves closer to take his face in them, pulling him to her as he cries quietly into her shoulder, unable to hold so much love and joy inside him. Shouto is his whole world and it's times like this when it becomes abundantly clear. No one could ever hope to hold his heart the way Shouto does, so firmly yet with such loving care.

Pulling back, Izuku sees that his mother's eyes have also taken a sheen to them and she uses the tip of her apron to dab at the corners. Her smile is a spitting image of Izuku's. Or rather, it is the other way around, trembling but filled with overwhelming happiness that neither of them could begin to express if they tried. She gives him one last squeeze before sending him on his way.

He dons his poor excuse for a disguise once more and, with one last small wave back at his mother, he starts on his way back to the train station, the letters in their pocket right next to his heart and flowers in his hair and hand. His next destination awaits him, and Izuku definitely doesn't want to make them wait long, especially when this commute is a little longer than the rest.

When he gets there, he realises he won't have to knock or ring the doorbell because Shouto's mother is sitting outside, basking in the sun as Fuyumi tends to some of her plants in her stead while she relaxes. Among the potted plants, there are a few flowers and Izuku doesn't miss how neither of the women have any on their person.

Shouto's mother notices him first, opening her warm grey eyes to grace him with a soft and gentle smile.

"Izuku… We've been waiting for you."

She stands up from her seat before Izuku can actually make it past the gate and insist she doesn't have to do so on his account.

But if one thing is for certain, it's that Shouto got his stubbornness from her, so arguing wouldn't have taken him anywhere to begin with. She greets him with a hug that he is still astounded at how warm it feels. For someone whose quirk is ice alone, she is one of the warmest people Izuku has ever met, both literally and figuratively.

"Izuku, it's so nice to see you!"

Fuyumi removes her gardening gloves and tosses them into a bucket before pulling him into a hug as well.

"Did you get taller?" she asks, reaching up to pat his head playfully and drawing a little chuckle out of him.

"Afraid not, Fuyumi-san, I don't think I'm ever growing any more than this."

"Compact sized. I think my Shouto likes it; he always did have a weakness for cute things."

The older of the two laughs quietly to herself and Izuku feels his cheeks pink slightly. She runs her fingers over the tip of his ear, the only part of her that actually feels cold, and he shivers. Her eyes are focused on the small flowers resting there.

"I see you've been busy."

Izuku nods wordlessly, a timid tug at the corner of his lips. "Shouto doesn't like it when I get lazy."

"I see…"

She lets out another trilling little giggle, her eyes shifting past him and towards Fuyumi behind him.

"I take it you're in a hurry, then."

"I can stay as long as you need me to," Izuku assures her, but she waves him off with a dismissive hand.

"Oh please, a strapping young man such as yourself has no time to waste on an old lady like me."

Izuku is about to interject when she shushes him by dangling the white envelope in front of his face.

"Fuyumi, dear, would you be so kind?"

A pink rose appears in his field of vision, taken right from the bush at the corner of the small garden.

"Careful, they prick."

Just as Fuyumi finishes saying that, Izuku hisses as he stabs his finger in one of the rose's thorns and pulls it to his mouth to lick away the quickly trickling blood.

"Ah, and I just warned you, too. Shouto will have my head for harming his pretty boyfriend."

Izuku laughs around his finger, taking a tissue out of one of his pockets to forge himself a makeshift hold for the rose.

"It wasn't your fault. And it's nothing serious." He offers a bouncy little grin and she disappears into the house to get him a band aid.

With that taken care of and no risk of further injury, Shouto's mother finally hands him the letter that he's been waiting for. His heartrate picks up as he eyes the words on the back of it once more, wondering what could be inside this one. With impressively steady hands for the rush of adrenaline that's coursing through him, Izuku takes the envelope and opens it.

 _'_ _I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't think I really know what I am doing. But it is because of you that I have made it to where I am today. You, my love, have given me the confidence to face the fears of my past and the uncertainties of my future. If not for you, I would have never been able to get to this point in which I had the courage to actually pursue my own happiness. You unshackled me from my insecurities, freed me from my own demons, and restored my trust in myself._

 _So, what else could I do if not return that trust in full? I trust you with everything I hold dear. You hold in your hands all the keys to all of my secrets. All of my life is yours to share with me because my happiness is with you and you alone. You are my everything._

 _We have been through so much together. In our first true encounter with death, you trusted me to protect your life. Now I ask you, will you protect mine when I put it in your hands to do with as you please?'_

He has to sit down as he takes in the message, his knees nearly buckling beneath him as he hears Shouto whisper the words in his ear so vividly he actually looks around just to make sure. His cheeks have become damp with the tears rolling fat from the corners of his eyes and there's two cool hands on his back, rubbing it as he shakes ever so slightly with the tiny hiccups that wrack through him.

Fuyumi rests her head on his shoulder, all three of them quiet but for Izuku's low sniffling and sobbing. It takes him longer than he would care to admit to pull himself together, bidding the other two goodbye with a low bow of his head and a teary-eyed smile that still managed to feel the happiest he's ever been in his entire life as he makes his way towards the next stop. It is actually not so far from where the little house he had just been to is, but he still takes his time.

Because with every step Izuku takes, his chest aches with the sweetest kind of pain. It's a dull throb, a yearning that makes it hard to breathe but is deliciously torturous. He knows that only one person can make this feeling lessen and he has a feeling that he's close to the end. Part of him wants this to be the last stop, while another wants to keep going forever, getting glimpses of Shouto's deepest feelings.

But then again, Izuku would also much rather get to know them from Shouto himself. _Soon,_ he thinks, _soon we'll be together again._

He makes it to a very familiar alley, looking at a very familiar back clad in a very familiar costume. Izuku nearly breaks down crying all over again right then and there, but he is able to swallow down those feelings if only for a moment. He takes off the sunglasses to see into the relatively darkened alleyway and hooks them on the collar of his shirt.

"Iida!"

His friend turns around with three different flowers in one hand and a beaming expression as he adjusts the glasses on his face with his free hand.

Two of the flowers are yellow, a primrose and a poppy, coupled with a pink-white peony that Izuku can't help but stop and stare at, tightening his grip around the other two flowers he holds. He finally reaches Iida's side and, in a very characteristic gesture, he almost shoves the flowers into his face. Izuku can't help the small smirk that upturns his lips for a second until he reaches up and takes them.

"I was instructed to participate in this quest of yours, Midoriya."

He takes one long look at their surroundings before once again facing him, his smile stretching further, proud.

"A fitting background to witness our own personal growth."

Izuku nods eagerly, hugging what's become a very strange bouquet to his chest. He loves it nonetheless. Before he even has the chance to say anything else, Iida has suddenly produced another white envelope out of seemingly thin air. Izuku blinks at the letter for a moment before taking it in a shaking hand.

Hesitating before actually opening it, he looks up at his friend, a plea in his eyes. _Is this the last one? I need to know._ Izuku mimics Iida's previous action and turns his gaze around the alley, the flashes of memories replaying in his mind once more. Blood, fear, the threat of death. But they weren't alone. He can't help but hope for Shouto to suddenly appear behind them, his left side coming to life with his resolve to protect his friends.

But no one is there but them and Izuku's heart is in his throat as he tucks the flowers in his elbow and pulls the letter out, Iida waiting patiently for him to finish reading it.

 _'_ _I have always believed that this was the turning point in our friendship. Where we moved from friendly acquaintances to truly close friends. Moments of despair such as these bring out the deepest of feelings to the surface and I never thought myself an exception to any rules. You needed me. And I didn't think. I couldn't think. You needed me so I came. It took courage for what you did, for what I did. We could have died. Any one of us._

 _That possibility still haunts me to this very day. Each and every time I think about it, I feel like everything around me is crumbling to dust. But then I remember… We made it. We made it alive and we made it together. We made it to now. But I can't help but keep thinking about the time where we won't. And I don't want to waste any moments. They are all precious. And I want to spend them with you._

 _I don't want to waste another moment, my love. Do you?'_

His tears are overflowing with no way to stop them, his heart squeezing terribly and his throat closing up to the point that he's choking. The water slides down his chin and onto the paper in his hand, onto the beautiful script, the black ink. The drops spread the thin lines of the characters into deformed blotches and he feels guilty but he can't stop. It's all he can do not to start howling with the heavy emotions that weigh down on his shoulders and make his body quiver.

"Hey!" A high-pitched voice that seems like someone is trying to make it sound deep and threatening echoes as he's sobbing into his hand.

Izuku gasps, turning on his heels to face the intruder, his knees are shaking and he feels about ready to collapse. He needs to cry but all he can do is watch as the world around him spins out of control and he feels a little queasy. Iida comes from behind him, holding him up, and Izuku can't even form a sentence coherent enough to thank him. The person in the back of the alleyway comes closer into view and he is relieved to see Uraraka until she flashes him the most terrifying of grins, like a woman gone mad.

"U-Uraraka?" He stutters between hiccups, eyes widening as she extends her hand towards his chest and Iida blocks him from backing away.

As soon as her fingertips make contact, Izuku feels the pull of gravity lift completely off of his body and then Iida propels him upwards. He's caught between a scream and a sob, resulting in a strangled noise akin to an animal dying as he squeezes his eyes shut, expecting to just keep drifting off into space indefinitely.

What happens instead is that he hears the crackle of ice forming below him and then strong arms are holding him close to a familiar chest. Izuku is surrounded by the smoky scent of fire and the fresh scent of snow, mixed with the sweat of a long day of likely fighting off petty villains. He feels his weight return and he's nestled in a cradle that feels like _home_. He's still a sobbing mess when he finally forces his eyes open to look up at blue grey eyes shining with admiration underneath strands of white and red. And below those eyes, between pearly white teeth is an equally pale envelope.

Izuku only sees him, his face, his eyes, his mouth. He doesn't notice that they're up on a rooftop garden or that they're surrounded by their friends and family, only that the letter, the _last letter_ is standing between him and Shouto's lips. So, he bites down on it and tosses it to the side, ignoring the raised eyebrow entirely as he just pulls his face to his, sucking the breath that wouldn't reach his lungs down below, right out of Shouto's mouth.

Shouto reacts immediately, lips parting slightly to grant him entrance, and, greedy, Izuku takes it. He tastes Shouto's tongue underneath his own, desperate, fingers tangling in his hair like he so desired and trying to get him closer and closer. He wants to feel him, he _needs_ to feel him, because his body isn't enough to hold all of this love so he _needs_ to give it.

Yet, all that ceases when there's a harsh clearing of a throat, somehow sounding aggressive from that alone, and Izuku pulls back to see a crimson glare and arms crossed over a broad chest. And that's when he sees the rest of the audience around him, nearly all of Class A and even some of Class B, All Might, Aizawa, and their family grinning at them from the back. Izuku feels the blood crawl to his cheeks and hides his face in Shouto's neck, who not only seems to be enjoying his embarrassment but is also unwilling to let him go back on his feet.

There's a small shift and Izuku's position is adjusted ever so slightly so that Shouto can pick up the letter he'd thrown to the side in his haste to get to his mouth. He doesn't know if he can actually handle another message, much less one in front of all of their families and closest friends. As if reading his mind, Shouto laughs quietly and kisses his cheek soothingly before whispering into his ear.

"This one's short, I promise." Shouto's voice is low and calm and it makes Izuku shudder weakly in his arms.

He takes the small envelope and pulls the paper from the inside. From just a quick glance, he can already tell that Shouto wasn't lying to him, not that he thought he would to begin with. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Izuku steals another glance at his partner who just smiles and waits. He shifts his gaze to the paper.

 _'_ _After all we've been through, and with everything that is still to come ahead of us…_

 _Izuku, my love, I have only one last question for you._

 _Look at me, and don't look away.'_

Izuku's eyes widen the smallest of fractions as everything finally clicks into place. He snaps his head towards his friends, all looking at them expectantly and he turns right back to Shouto, noticing that somewhere during his reading, he'd set them down and was on one knee, with him still in his arms.

And, in the left hand held up next to Izuku's face, Shouto has a small rose and white intertwining gold band. He feels the rush of tears take him over for the millionth time that day and with a sob, he throws his arms around Shouto's neck, clinging to him as if his life depends on it as he hears him ask the last question, the words whispered softly into his ear.

"Will you do me the honour of spending the rest of our life with me as your husband?"

Izuku cries hard and loud into his neck, shaking them both to the core with his violent sobs. The choked out 'yes' is as broken as his breaths, and the air around them explodes with cheers as Shouto holds him close and kisses the tears away right as they fall from his eyes. After only a heartbeat, he brings their lips together, smiling all the while.

Izuku doesn't know how long they spend entwined tightly in each other's arms as the shouts and congratulations fall away in favour of Shouto's trembling breaths, and he doesn't care. There are tears running down Shouto's face as well as they finally pull apart with a breathless gasp, trickling patterns across the upturned corners of his grinning mouth.

"Hello, my love. My fiancé."

Izuku lets out another sob as he leans in close to kiss Shouto again, whispering against his lips.

"Hello, fiancé."

 **NOTE:** **As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read, I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Feel free to leave any feedback you may have! ^-^**


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